How to Select the Right Friends:
It does not matter the decade or for that matter the century we are in, being a teenager or a young adult is not easy. With our global community’s population totals pushing ever so closely to the seven billion mark communication, problem solving and decision making skills will be critical to successful relationships as we interact daily with our family, friends, neighbors, co- workers and fellow community members.
How we make friends is one of the basic things we do as social beings. You can see this as you watch children playing at a local playground. They will find someone to race to the top of the monkey bars with or someone to run in and out of the sprinklers on a hot summer day. How do we translate that into a good friend selection process as we get older? These four steps can help: education, application, evaluation and determination.
The first step is education. You need to know yourself. This means that you have to be honest with yourself. What values do you have that you received from your family? What things do you find important in life? What are you passionate about? What gives you joy? Education is power. We are all students in life—lifetime learners.
The second step is application. After you have done this research you must apply what you have learned. What qualities do you look for in a person that you decide to make your friend? Would you make friends with someone that would get you sent to jail? That’s what you do when you hang out with someone that you know is involved in criminal activities. Every time you go to their hang out spot you are flirting with police involvement becoming a part of your life and that’s not even a little bit cool! Another thing is you open yourself up to people that are angry with “your friend” thinking you are involved in whatever “your friend” is involved with and taking out their anger for “your friend” out on you. You could also be an innocent bystander.
Would you make friends with someone that would point a gun at you? That’s what you open yourself up to when you are friends with someone that carries a gun. If someone points a gun at you, they could potentially injure or kill you intentionally or accidently. A gun is not a costume accessory like it is in the movies; if someone has a gun they will use it if they feel threatened. You never know when they may think or feel you are a threat to them. Even if they say they would never hurt you, if they have to choose between you and themselves they will never select you.
The next step is evaluation. How could you avoid the above scenarios? You must select your friends wisely. If you know that someone is involved with criminal activities or carries a gun stay away from them. You may say what if they are cool and you want to hang out with them. Being cool and living a fast life does not always equal a long life. Sometimes doing what is right may not seem cool or may seem boring but it could save your life. When you build your future honestly it gives you an opportunity to live safely to enjoy your success.
The final step is determination. Selecting your friends wisely means choosing people that want what’s best for you and will encourage you to always improve yourself. It’s a plus to have people that are positive, who have goals and are doing positive things in their life around you because they can serve as an example and a source of encouragement for you to build a success life and positive future.