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Living Single: Is it really a choice?


single women
single women

Yesterday in New York City, I was among a distinguished group of African American Women who for various reasons find themselves single.  We were all invited to participate in an NBC online video segment that asked us to share our opinions on the topic (It will also air on television in over 40 affiliate cities). NBC along with many other media outlets are looking at the disproportionate numbers of African American women who are single.  According to MSN.com , “In the past fifty years, the percentage of African-American women between 25-54 who have never been married has doubled from 20% to 40% compared to just 16% of white women who have never been married today.”   Yesterday, the panelist offered everything from demanding jobs, lack of spiritual/religious connections to long term relationships ending before matrimony as some of the reasons why so many of us are single.  While others proclaimed that being single brings them sincere happiness, “slim pickings” is a reality.  Fewer and fewer African American men attending/finishing college, has resulted in less of them matching or exceeding the same professional levels of their African American counterparts and, the rise in interracial marriages also makes it more difficult for racial/cultural loyal women to find a man.*

Different Kind of Single Women

I found myself representing a very small minority of women: the six figure making single mom, over 4o ( just by a year OK?).  Putting all that aside, I have to say that I am no different from most single women out there who are waiting on the balcony for her dark knight in shining armor to come to her emotional rescue .  One of my comments yesterday was “chivalry shivers me”.   Believe it or not, there is nothing more attractive to me than a man who takes the lead and plans exciting and thoughtful ways for us to spend time together.  So far, unfortunately, I have met some nice guys who have fallen short of my tall orders.  I have found one reason to have the audacity to continue hope for my knight to make an appearance-Michelle Obama.  The quintessential “I am every Woman”.  Sassy and classy, our first lady is a strong woman who has found an equally strong man to embrace her-unconditionally.   I know mine is out there en route . . .

To watch the segment click here

*Nearly two-thirds of African-American college undergraduates are women.  That is leading to a disparity in the number of African-American women who go on to own their own businesses.

Simone-Monet Wahls

Photo:  Michelle Mitchell

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