18 & over, commentary

19 years after Tupac’s demise, I remember . . .

Throwback blooper pic. 90sumin, somewhere in L. A. jabbin my jaws with Tupac and YoYo

“Thankful for my first love introducing me to my first platonic love in 1990. Richard told you quite a bit about me and when you finally met me, you treated me like a long lost family member. Discovering I was outlandish as well, strengthened our connection. #StillHurts
My soul cousin, I miss you so. #HBDTupac ” Posted on Social Media: June 16, 2014

Today 19 years ago,

I was out of my mind, I felt a strong chill. Minutes later, a call had confirmed the death of Tupac, my soul cousin. I felt anger and knew I needed to transform it I went to a few people who thought I was nuts (what’s new?) and did not support me. Thank God for John, my friend, who told me that he would help with anything I needed.  I told him I mainly needed him to hold my hand and, “Oh yeah, come with me to find a Dove.” Couldn’t find a Dove so, I released a white pigeon. I rang my folks at MTV and asked them to report an impromptu memorial service I would hold at Bryant Park. The only thing they said to me was ” Get a permit so you don’t get arrested.” “I have no permit and I’m not getting one. Fu*k dat.” MTV News (thanks to friends in high places ) announced it several times.

Right- Grief stricken Wahls hugging a friend.
Right- Grief stricken Wahls hugging a friend. Left- Photo from Vibe Magazines book on Tupac.

The celebration was well attended and with many candles burning, we discussed Tupac and his authentic nature. I did not verbalize much that day.  Vivid memories come and go often. There was a time I would dismiss the memories because the pain was so deep. Now, I embrace them and realize how conscious and mature he was for his age. How much I miss that high level of dialogue, as its really hard to engage people like that these days. I also realize Tupac cared for me just as much as I cared for him.  He taught me about true friendship (via many arguments and almost immediate make ups). He made me promise that I would continue to “question the shit outta everything”. He is one of the people who inspired me to start my Non-profit. “Yo, that’s some dope shit Mo, let me know what I can do.” I never did, which I regret. More importantly, Tupac’s opinion of my strong personality was empowering. I wasn’t “manly” in fact, my intense love and passion was of that of a chess-piece-Queen. If you play chess, you know that is a packed statement. The memorial served its purpose as it brought people peacefully together to celebrate a tragic end.  It was moving and I won’t say the presence of Pac was felt or anything on the lines of that. Honestly, I was in too much pain to recall much, but, I do remember knowing our memorial moved Ms. Afeni and soothed my soul.


9/20/1996 Frontpage New York Times Photo by Greenberg.

Caption from New York Times:

S. Monet Wahls is a music industry veteran, writer and founder of Future Executives, Inc. 
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